"I was afraid all the time at home": exploring the lived experiences and self-perceptions of adults who were childhood bullies - an IPA study

Sellick-Taylor, Awulatu (2024) "I was afraid all the time at home": exploring the lived experiences and self-perceptions of adults who were childhood bullies - an IPA study. Doctoral thesis, London Metropolitan University.

Abstract

This study explores how adult bullying perpetrators (BPs) retrospectively understand their roles and self-perceptions in school, addressing a gap in the research that often overlooks perpetrators' experiences. Using the social-ecological diathesis-stress model alongside humanistic, psychodynamic, and cognitive-behavioural frameworks, semistructured video interviews (using Microsoft Teams) were conducted with six adults aged 25 to 45, who were identified as childhood BPs. The interviews were analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA), revealing three general experiential themes (GETs): destabilisation of the ‘self’ due to chaotic and insecure home environments, emotional vulnerabilities related to family dynamics and bullying, and a lack of self-awareness and support.

These findings suggest that bullying may function as a maladaptive coping mechanism, enabling participants to navigate feelings of powerlessness, diminished self-esteem, absence of adult guidance, and perceived need for control. Furthermore, it provides nuanced insights into the complexity inherent in the development of personality traits and roles. Ten sub-themes emerged from the GETs, including attempts to regain agency through bullying, the normalisation of abusive behaviour, and the emotional toll of shame and guilt.

This study highlights the need for early empathetic psychological interventions, particularly those that strengthen parent-child attachment bonds and provide effective, school-based emotional support. It recommends training educators to identify vulnerable children and integrate family engagement in both preventive and rehabilitative efforts, offering a holistic, person-centred approach to addressing bullying from a counselling psychology perspective. Further research is recommended to explore the long-term impact of bullying on perpetrators' mental health and socio-emotional development.

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